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Of course, for men and women alike, sex is not quirky and unthreatening; it’s messy and unwieldy and mysterious and exciting and weird and revelatory and really, really fun. It’s not the sleek and pretty Pearl Panther; it’s the 1950s drag racing car, with barbed wire and flames on the side. It would have been great if Gong had kept that in mind when designing her female masturbation instruction app, but it would have been even greater if we, as a culture, had no need for a female masturbation instruction app at all.
Masturbation is normal—at least 84% of Americans do it! About 91% of folks who identify as men and 78% of those who identify as women masturbate (with varying frequencies depending on factors like age, sex drive, etc.). It’s possible that even more women and folks assigned female at birth (AFAB) engage in “me time” than surveys say because of the Sexual Double Standard (SDS), or a research term for how women tend to be judged more harshly than men for the same sexual acts.
“I’ve always wanted to do something like this, I’ve been to similar workshops — including genital gazing and sensual touch but nothing like this,” Lipski said. “I’d been aware of the BodySex Circles, facilitated by the late . She had been facilitating masturbation circles for female empowerment since the 70s — and when I first heard about it I knew I wanted to be a part of something like this.”
Now I’m marginally older and wiser, I am proud to out myself as a wanker. Masturbating should not be a source of shame. It should be done joyfully and regularly by any man or woman who fancies it. I didn’t think I was alone in my alone-time habit – but app designer Tina Gong seems to believe women need some encouragement. She has designed an app called Happy Playtime, to facilitate female masturbation. According to an on Gong’s app, 46.6% of women touch themselves less than once a month. This might seem surprising, but think of the way women’s sexuality is discussed in the media. Rape, objectification and harassment make headlines daily. It’s imperative that we keep talking about issues and instances of inequality, but the news is, to use the technical term, a boner killer. Collectively, we’ve forgotten that sex should be pleasurable, rewarding and joyful for men and women.


















