Surprise big boobs (photos)

The first time I realized I had larger than average boobs, I was in 7th grade; the boys in my homeroom class were sitting across from me, our desks in a horseshoe formation that our private school teachers insisted “fostered communication.” I could hear them whispering the only way preteen boys know how — badly — about the different size “mountains” of the girls in class; when they got to me, I heard the most popular boy in class say, “Caroline has big mountains,” and the rest of the wide-eyed boys, like wolves surrounding a pile of meat, heartily agreed. Despite this incredibly discreet approach, I figured they were probably talking about my breast size, rolled my eyes, and chided them, saying something that for sure sounded cooler in my head.

I’d be lying if I said a small part of me didn’t enjoy the attention though; as a chubby Italian girl, I was far removed from the standard object of desire in my preppy New England school. At 12 years old, I was already a 36DD but I don’t think I truly understood the power I wielded until that moment. I’m now a 32G (that’s DDDD for those of you who don’t speak cup-size) and I’m still incredibly proud of my rack. But in the nearly two decades since that fateful day, my feelings about my boobs — and by extension my body — have changed dramatically; they’ve become more nuanced, more fraught, more accepting, sometimes all at once. And these feelings have all been shaped in one way or another by what it means to move through the world as a woman with larger breasts — or big naturals, as they are often referred to online.

My boobs impact every part of my life. My experiences with men and women, shopping for clothes, work and social media, christ, even getting a good night’s sleep — no part of my life is entirely sequestered from being a woman with big boobs.

Big naturals are having , as the desirability pendulum swings between “big ass” and “big tits”, it sometimes feels hard to keep up with whether boobs are in or not. If the looks I get on the street, on Instagram, and in the office mean anything though, big boobs have never truly gone out of fashion. And while they play a role in the dynamic I have with my peers, as well as how I’ve been perceived at work, they feature most prominently in the romantic (and sometimes even platonic) relationships I’ve had with men. It runs deeper than the carnal attraction that my partners have expressed towards this part of my body and extends to their understanding of what it feels like to be a woman with larger-than-average boobs. Everything from the intrigue of how to properly stimulate larger breasts to the self consciousness and insecurity and even self loathing that can come with having them are things the cis male brain likely cannot fathom without it being explained to them.

Magdalene Taylor is a writer and fellow big boob haver, and when I knew I was going to be writing about big boobs, she was the first person I thought of; she wrote the piece on the cultural significance of big naturals.